Learning how to listen
As designers, we may fall victim to the assumption that we are always correct. Or at least, I know I’ve fallen victim to this. The idea of thinking that because at this particular moment I have all the information I think I need, that the design I create is the be-all and end-all of everything, is a very toxic mindset. Not just to myself, but those around me too. So instead, I welcome you to learn with me about how to change your mindset and instead ask questions, as well as learning how to go along with the flow. Sometimes the end result is much better than you could have ever imagined.
So, let’s get started on what I feel are the most important things you need to start or continue on your journey of learning how to listen. Have something to add? Please feel free to comment away, I’m always looking to learn from others with different experiences.
A growth mindset
First and most importantly, you need to want to get better. The drive to continually improve, to always grow, and to keep an open mind. This is often referred to as a growth mindset — the idea that you’re never done growing, learning, or improving yourself in both your personal and professional lives.
If you’re already in a growth mindset, then great. But it isn’t always easy to pinpoint exactly what this means. It isn’t looking to increase the value of your assets or stocks, and it also isn’t looking to increase your muscle mass. A growth mindset is an openness and willingness towards constant learning. It’s not just knowing, but accepting that you’re never going to be done learning that’s the important piece. It’s looking for ways to constantly improve yourself, even if it’s something as small as eating one more piece of fruit per month. It’s not looking at problems as obstacles, but rather the building blocks of improving. It’s failing forward.
Active listening skills
The next thing you need is to understand what it means to actively listen. This goes further than listening to someone speak and is something that I’ve learned a lot about from my coworkers. The term “active listening” was coined around the 50s and refers to how an individual fully comprehends, understands, and responds to input from another individual. To me, this means that when you listen to someone explaining their reasoning, you aren’t listening for the sake of having an argument. You aren’t honing in on one part of their sentence, and calling them out for having a different perspective. You aren’t attacking the other person for having a unique opinion.
So what is “active listening”?
Active listening means taking in what the other party is saying and asking questions. Understanding. Taking the time to see things from their perspective, and asking them to clarify if necessary. It’s actively working towards a compromise or resolution to the conversation that leaves both parties as satisfied as possible.
Active listening is using open body language. Keeping your arms uncrossed, a neutral to positive facial expression, and making eye contact are all important. When you cross your arms during a conversation, it can come off as if you’re now closed off to the other person, especially when paired with crossed legs. This means that you’re now portraying defensiveness — that you’re no longer open to listening to what the other party is saying.
Something as little as your foot positioning can impact how you portray yourself, too — if you’re in a scenario where you’re conversing with one stakeholder, there may be an opportunity for another to join in the discussion, and changing your standing angle to include the newcomer can portray that you welcome their presence and are therefore more likely to listen to them.
Letting things go
The last thing you need — equally as important as those above — is an openness to admitting when you’re wrong and letting things go so that you aren’t fighting a battle not worth fighting for. This isn’t just saying “I’m sorry”, this is also learning to recognize when you need to let someone else take the spotlight, or when someone else’s idea is the one that does make more sense in the current situation, or even when the way you’re describing something isn’t getting across as intended. Just because a design you create is amazing and satisfies the design brief, the development time and capabilities may not be aligned. What you interpreted as the goal for the users may not be what the actual users think or know their goal to be.
If you find yourself running around in circles in a key meeting, without anyone actually coming to a resolution or conclusion, then chances are someone, whether it’s you or not, isn’t willing to let go of their opinion — or just plain has the wrong assumptions in their mind. Don’t get me wrong — sometimes this can lead to a positive outcome. If someone with key information is describing that something isn’t possible because the software or website will not be technically able to handle the feature, but the stakeholder is really pushing for the feature, the developer is probably correct. What should happen in this scenario is a shift in the tone of the conversation.
The developer needs to find a new way to communicate why the feature isn’t possible — using the language of the stakeholder. From the other side, the stakeholder needs to actively listen to what the developer is saying, and take the time to understand why it isn’t possible. Both sides need to be willing to ask questions and be open in their non-understanding.
A lot of times in development, and even design, just because a specific feature isn’t possible, it doesn’t mean it’s wholly impossible. It just means that this particular implementation isn’t possible. But if no one is actively listening, no one is going to feel comfortable bringing up new suggestions, because it’s more likely that the new suggestion is also going to be turned down.
How do you actually get better?
It’s grossly overused, but truly the best way to improve at this is to keep trying. Self-improvement is a mountain at the end of the day, it isn’t something you’re going to see happen overnight.
In my opinion, good listening skills are something that we can only hone by putting ourselves in situations where we need to listen. As designers, this means meetings with developers, stakeholders, team members, users, and anyone integral to the design process. If you have someone in your company, friend group or even family, you can also simulate these scenarios by telling them that you want to work on your listening skills. You can read books, listen to talks, listen to podcasts and attend events related to improving yourself and learning skills — there’s an overwhelming number of options.
You just need to want to improve.
Disclaimer: I am not an expert in the field of UI or UX. I am someone who has been working in the field for 5+ years, who strives to learn more about the field and share with others my knowledge. I hope that this article finds you well, and you’re able to take it and the information it provides with you into your career and also feel just that little bit more confident in your designs and decisions.
